Chicken Wing Personality Test
What do your wing preferences say about you? Visit Buffalo Niagara asked a crack team of clinical psychologists to weigh in on people who prefer drumsticks to those who love flats, broken down by different levels of spiciness. When none of them returned our calls, we just went with our gut. Hey, I took Psychology 101.
| SAUCE | DRUMSTICKS | FLAT | BOTH |
| Mild | You dream of being the lead singer of a gargantuan rock band. But your ego isn’t quite big enough to pull it off – you’re better suited to be the drummer. | A mild-mannered person who digs a challenge. You often get sauce prints on your crossword puzzle. | You’re the Air Supply of wing eaters – unoriginal and a bit bland, but still lovable. |
| Medium | You live life with a steady hand, never taking risks, but adding just enough spice to keep it interesting. Total marriage material. | Much like the mild flat-eater, except you do the Sunday Times puzzle. In ink. | The ultimate centrist, you don’t hesitate to support initiatives from both sides. Please run for office! |
| Hot | Wielding a tiny club of scorched meat appeals to you. You’re kind of a jerk, but in that way where people love you for it. | The Indiana Jones of wing eaters, you’re hungry for discovery, excavating meaty middles to unearth the sauce-drenched bones underneath. | You see yourself as pretty cool, liking the sound of your own voice when you order ‘em “hot.” And when asked which type of wing you prefer, you’ve got the act down pat – shrug, slip on your sunglasses and say, “whatever.” |
| Suicidal | Check your family tree. You’re a descendant of Genghis Khan. | You are a mad scientist bent on world domination. As you rub your hands together ominously, hot sauce burns in your pores. You care not. | You are the Dark Lord Hotsaucikus, returned to earth in human form to harvest the souls of the Mild Ones. |
| Pizza Hut’s “Buffalo | Stop reading now. Buy tickets to Orlando or something. | Wait. We didn’t mean it. We’d love for you to stop by! Just keep your wing preference a secret, OK? | Sorry for getting all defensive back there. It’s just, the idea of chain wings is blasphemous to us. We cool? |
